It was fun until I realised..

I’m not usually someone who spends much time thinking,

“What if?” But lately, I keep coming back to it.

What if I had done what I really wanted to do when I had the chance? We had time together, in person, and I wish I had been a little braver lol (obviously I am not).

Now you are 15,000 km away, and I don’t quite know what to do with these feelings.

I always seem to leave things until too late, especially when it comes to you.

I remember so many little things from the first day we met. There was something about you, something that seemed to shine through your whole being. I had a feeling getting to know you would be something special, and it was so true

You are a good singer too, lol. I still think about all the songs we listened to together. And your voice when you said “hmmm” was the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.

It’s such a tiny thing, but I still remember exactly how it sounded.

I love that you know what you want and what you love doing. You are good at your work, and you have a sense of where you want it to take you.

I also love that you can recognise when you have messed up and are honest about where things went wrong.

What do I love about you?

From everything I have come to know, I love all of you.

I think what I felt for you went deeper than I realised. Sometimes, when I’m at my lowest, you come to my mind. I’m not really sure how it happens, but remembering how you can analyse things brings me a little comfort.

In those moments, I wish I could hear your voice again.

I know you don’t like breadcrumbs, lol,

so let me say this properly,

you mean so much to me without knowing you are

I’m so happy we got to spend even a little time together, and I hope I made you feel how amazing you are to me.

If I could have one more moment with you, I would hold you a little longer and tell you the things I was too shy to say.

I’m not asking you for anything in return. I just want you to eat well, sleep well, go for a walk, play with the dog and have a happy life. And knowing you, I think you’re already doing a pretty good job of that.

You will always have a place in my heart for a long, long time. Even from 15,000 km away, you still make me feel

ps. Late for 3 years… still late